With ADHD, Clarity May Seem Elusive

clarity

[klar-i-tee]

Spell Syllables

noun

1. Clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. (dictionary.reference.com)

 

Having a set, clear, focus about what we’re doing isn’t as easy as it sounds. Why? There can be several reasons.

  • Life gets in the way. Our other responsibilities can take over.
  • We don’t know how to do every bit of what needs to be done.
  • The appeal of what we’re doing loses its luster when faced with the mundane tasks that are actually involved.
  • We don’t know why we’re doing this because the original reason no longer exists or is important to us.

With ADHD, having clarity can be even harder.

  • You lose interest.
  • Something else hijacks your attention and/or time.
  • You forget.
  • You never had a strong anchor or attachment to the purpose of it.

Fortunately, gaining clarity isn’t something that has to take a lot of time. What it takes is asking yourself some powerful questions to open your mind and explore what you find there.

Here’s an example. Say you have started to crochet because you were interested in making personal gifts for babies. Let’s say you became very good and people started asking you to make things for them to give as gifts. In fact, you were so good, people started paying you and you found that you could quit your regular job and just crochet full time. You could, hypothetically, live off of what you produced. Sounds great, right?

I had a woman approach me with this dilemma. She thought a coach could help her figure out what was wrong with her before she had to go on anti-depressant medication. It turns out that she wasn’t happy about the situation at all. At first, it was fun and she got a real ego boost from others valuing her work, but it wasn’t fulfilling to her. In fact, she felt burdened and overwhelmed. It didn’t matter that she was managing the fulfillment of the orders without much problem; she felt depressed.

So, what did she discover?

Together we figured out her original intention got lost in the shuffle. What she had wanted and what happened were actually two different things. And all of the things she liked about the job she quit were never replaced with anything better. In fact, working from home made her feel lonely and tired. She had inadvertently isolated herself. Also, the whole idea of making things she was personally interested in was tossed out the door because people were now telling her what to make. She felt trapped everyday.

See how a little clarity around her situation helped sort out her feelings? When she came to me she thought she might have to go on medication. Now she’s decided to go back to work outside the home and make crochet a hobby again instead of her livelihood. She felt free having clarified for herself what her real wants and needs were.

What are you feeling ambiguous about? Maybe it’s time to ask what’s the purpose of me doing this activity? It could be that you, too, have a situation that’s holding you to something you never intended nor even wanted. Let me know in the comments and let’s keep the discussion going.

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