I wrote, The Shame of the Non-ADHD Child, for ADDitude magazine last month. Following is an excerpt. Please check it out in it’s entirety.
Growing up as a non-ADHD kid in a family with ADHD sounds like a challenge. It was, but not for the reasons you’d think. My dad had ADHD and bipolar disorder. Of course, as a kid, I only knew that he took a yellow and purple pill every morning at breakfast or was scolded by Mom if he forgot. Our family of four had one non-ADHD parent, one with ADHD, one non-ADHD child, and one with ADHD. Truthfully, there were many challenges from ADHD, which created chaos for the whole family.
Dad was a smart man but had trouble maintaining employment and so under earned. His impulsivity would get the best of him, and he’d overspend. We seemed never to have enough money for things like clothes, but there was always ice cream in the house. He was so disorganized and couldn’t remember where things were or the appointments that he’d made. He’d overcommit to others yet kept them waiting. Many times I’d hear Mom’s exasperated tone as she’d tell the person on the other end of the phone, “I don’t know where he is. Hopefully, he’ll be there soon.”
He didn’t manage much around the house, so most responsibilities fell to my mother. He also just wasn’t around much. So, by default she became the sole disciplinarian as well. She was the rock of our family; the glue that held everything together and she resented it. She would question him about things to which he had no answers. She’d get furious about something he said and madder still about something he didn’t. It was as if he could do no right in her eyes. Then she’d complain that it was his fault she was always the “bad guy” and mad at him for that too! All I knew for sure was every time she yelled at him it felt like she was yelling at me.
Click here for The Shame of the Non-ADHD Child continued…
~ Jennie Friedman
Click below to subscribe and
get more awesome content!
pic credit: paintingilove.com