Continuing on from my last post, being an ADHD mum with an ADHD child, I want to say that homework seems to be my biggest parenting grey area.
The word homework makes me want to throw up. It reminds me of my childhood when all I did was avoid, avoid, avoid. I’d get home from school, toss my bag in my room and head straight out doors. I’d call up my friends, go riding my bike around town until after dark.
Then I’d head home for dinner, TV and bed. My mum never really got on my case about homework, she might have mentioned it now and then, I can’t really remember. I was aware it was there, but what was the point in doing it? I felt stupid enough all day in class having no clue what the teachers were banging on about most of the day, what was the point in reliving that shame at home?
So how is this supposed to work then? An ADHD mum, allergic to homework, with a non ADHD son and an ADHD son, trying to get them to do homework? Simple really – non ADHD son does his homework without any drama, and ADHD son ‘never has any homework, or hasn’t got anything written down in his diary, or he left his work at school.
Shhhhh! It’s a secret …
I, of course, don’t let my kids know that I didn’t do my homework. Sometimes I go as far as pretending it’s totally my thing, “Come on kids let’s do it together it will be fun.” … until the homework comes out and I have to start helping. That’s when I feel myself melting down inside while the old familiar frustration rises. And while I’m helping Jasper and he’s paying zero attention to me and I’m telling him to pay attention knowing full well there’s no bloody point because he simply can’t, I get cross and tell him off because he’s rocking in his chair and I’m scared he’ll break the legs. Goddam it I need to get him a wobble chair.
And before I know it he’s wandered off elsewhere. Or I have.
I don’t know anything about math. I’m happy to help with English but they rarely seem to get homework in English. More than happy to do art projects but nothing’s coming home… Social studies and science… cringe.
Now that Jasper’s in highschool my homework anxiety has tripled because every week I get a reminder email telling me that Jasper has some sort of science project due or a math test to study for. The worst is they’re saying he can go to some link or put it on a USB… Gaaaahhhh why can’t it all come home on paper, in text books like the good old days?! For me to open a link to something I don’t understand or find uninteresting is useless, I’ve already found something way more interesting to do along the way like laundry, which I hate.
We have a tutor for Jasper during school hours, but it means he misses out on …
I’m a mother of 2, business owner, fashion designer, importer of Moroccan wares. I have a restless soul with an overflowing bucket list. I love writing and sharing stories about life and ADHD, my oldest son, my husband and myself all have ADHD so there’s never a dull moment in our lives!
~ Freya Duignan