Happy Father’s Day, in Spirit

Tomorrow will be the 27th Father’s Day without my dad. Even though I celebrate it now with my husband and our kids, I find myself drifting to memories of him and my life as a child. Sadly, he committed suicide back when I was 20. He had ADHD, bipolar disorder, and seasonal depression, which  affected my whole family, not just him. That dictated how our time together would be spent leaving me to wonder had he not been so affected what would he have been like as my dad.

An article I wrote about this for The Good Men Project was published this past week. Please check it out and leave your comments, I will respond to you. I believe having this discussion around men’s mental health is so important. Dad’s especially.

As for my favorite memory of him? Well, if I had to give only one, it would be of a summer night, back when I was 7 years old. He had been smoking his pipe, a scent I still love to this day, and the aroma filled our home. It was bedtime, and the sounds of Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major intermingled with the rich smell of tobacco. As my sister and I were tucked into bed, he took turns pulling our feet out from the bottom of the sheets and massaging them with sesame oil. We just loved that, falling asleep with our favorite song and a foot rub.

In fact, when I got married, that was the song I played to walk down the isle. I realize it’s a popular choice but I don’t think anyone else chooses it for the reason I did. He was there with me in spirit that day too, as he will be tomorrow. I wish you all a Happy Father’s Day.

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