You have ambition, you have drive, and you even have a plan. So, how come you aren’t totally pumped? Often, we think that if we only knew what we wanted then the rest would just fall into place. So, if that’s not the case, what’s happening?
What we don’t always realize until we’re in the middle of something, is that we don’t know exactly how to do what all is needed or for how long. Sometimes, too, we can lose sight of the original reason we’re doing what we’re doing in the first place. Either of these can stop you dead in your tracks.
If you lose sight of your purpose, it’s hard to keep on. If you know what you’re doing but you have no idea why, it can feel like a dream fading into a foggy mist. Maintaining purposeful intent isn’t as easy as it sounds. Why? There can be several reasons, especially if you have ADHD, as I’ve written about before.
- Life gets in the way. Our other responsibilities can take over.
- We don’t know some of the details of every step.
- The appeal of what we’re doing loses its luster when faced with the mundane tasks that are involved.
- We don’t know why we’re doing this because the original reason no longer exists or is important to us.
So, what’s the fix? Gain clarity and you’ll create confidence. Clarity and confidence matter most and create success in all areas of life. Follow these two steps and see an increase in your happiness level.
- Ask yourself what made you start with this in the first place. Next, evaluate, is that purpose still being served?
- Be truthful and ask yourself how capable are you? Do you know precisely what needs to get done and how to do it? The more you know, the more capable you’ll be and feel and that creates the capability/confidence loop, which perpetuates forward movement.
Chris had a wonderful wife and two beautiful kids, both under the age of 8. Even as a self-proclaimed beach bum type, he was the sole provider for his family. Chris claims he was under constant stress from working long hours at two jobs for years. Consequently, he and his wife grew apart and after a decade of marriage, she left and took the kids with her. Now he sees his children every other weekend and a month during the summer. He initially kept working the two jobs but just to keep busy because he hated coming home to an empty house.
When asked what made him take on such a taxing workload in the first place, his answer surprised even himself. He said it was his wife who had pressured him to provide a level of income that would allow her to stay home with the kids. He confessed he valued free time more than the extra money, and so quit the job that was the least interesting.
The job he kept involved work he loved, working at a dive shop. With the owner, he arranged to take on running scuba diving excursions, something he had always dreamed of doing. When he started this, he had to have a mentor for a while until he was capable of doing everything himself. Learning how to do all aspects of his new position boosted his confidence though, and he quickly became a mentor himself. Now Chris reports feeling very happy with his life, something he said he previously thought wasn’t possible.
Have you been in situations similar to Chris’? You come up with a plan you feel is the course to take to lead you to your goal. Along the way, as you roll with the punches, things change, people change, circumstances change. So, examine is the original reason you are doing what you do still valid? Chris decided his wasn’t and adjusted his sails; maybe you will want to do the same. Then see if your abilities are creating that capability/confidence loop that took Chris to a level of happiness he hadn’t yet experienced. Considering these two steps, any time you feel off track, could very well be the two steps to take you to happiness.
As an ADHD Coach, we can talk about creating clarity and purpose in your life, contact me and let’s talk about it.